Missy Anne’s on the look out for me…

By: Guest Contributor

missy anne can’t handle that i’ve left the plantation
she got a sentimental thing for me
she’d tell you she’s liberal–for all human emancipation
down with the struggle
you know–for rights and self determination
would sing the tune of justice before any integration
but she can’t respect my boundaries

you wouldn’t take no for an answer
when I first said no to your pressure
for us to meet
greet
and–get together

still got your wily ways
still sly

and crazed
got my number

and address

and this is the modern day twenty-first century abomination
of trying to get off the goddamn plantation

What you need to see Missy Anne?

that I’m in a ditch?
in a ravine?
with child?
stupid?
still shiftless as can be?

that I’m jobless?
unemployed?
on welfare?
poor and hungry?

that I’m still so black?
so loud mouthed?
or that no one really likes me?
that I get no respect?
no love?
no dignity?

Missy Anne you done travelled all the way out!

what words you got to shout?!

What kinda high you getting off of seeing me?
was it such a surprise, that I survived
that I made it through alive?

Missy Anne

what you want from me?!!

‘Cause you’re prattling along
saying,
“Everything’s still nice
…quiet
…we doing good
…fighting the good ole fight

…well we have yet to start a riot
…but we getting along
…you know how it is
…do you still keep in touch?”
Now, now Missy Anne you know what’s up!!!

and you know when I left I had done given up
the possibility of you leaving the security of your lies
the sharp tongues of denial
contempt

and despise

I wrote my letters
cried my tears
quivered and quaked
through all the heart break

and you all said it was my fault
that my work didn’t measure
that I was not worth my salt

that you gave me the “opportunity” to show my worth
speak my truth
hold my own
that you wanted to hear what I had to say
and if I needed a break
it was a terrible mistake
‘cause clearly I needed to know my rightful place

and boy oh boy, black naive little me
such a tawdry discredit, to my race

and you made sure to snipe,
“Even John Brown knew what’s right!
and look at you you’re black
you should struggle harder for your people!”
while you sit perched unconcerned
with keeping the playing field equal

and you made sure your stature was still in tact
with your theory without practice
with your this

without that

throwing my hurt in my face
made your case on why I should to stay
“out there is cruel
out there’s much worse
so it’s best that you stay

you modern day slave
Lest you want to be alone

and displaced.”

So what’s up Missy Anne, why you sit so quiet, do you really think I’mma break your silence?!?

Come on now!
I know you all gossip about your slaves
you know how I left all hurt and frayed
so what you want to really set your eyes on?
a vindication that you weren’t wrong?

What you need to say Missy Anne, what ever could it be?!!!!???!!

‘Cause I wasn’t checking for you, you were checking for me

What?! did you think I’d spill my guts
tell you how I had hated the manipulation
while you quietly agree–

god forbid you yell and scream
can’t tarnish your genteel sensibilities!

do you need to cry tears to soothe your insides?
even attest
to how the Master causes you stress
lay your head in my bosom and call me “Mammy?”

have me wipe your tears with my handkerchief ?

Or wait!
are you still giving in to those narc tendencies?
to bring back information, to the good ole plantation?
and fulfill your true role as Missy Anne indeed!

Or better yet

am I in an interrogation?
Do you need me to give some sort of explanation?
to poke and prod at all my beliefs?
check something wrong with my thinking?
so you can laugh during tea time with your friends
snickering,
“Ha! she’s still as stupid as the day she left,
we were right all along she ain’t got no good sense.”

Did you want to see me stutter?
Would you like it if I showed deference
use my “emotions” to say I’m politically inept?
Still infantile?
Immature?
Just not ready yet?

Would you have felt satisfied
sitting atop your white horse
say,
“Well she ain’t a fit enough breed of course!”

Missy Anne I’ve gone through the scenarios
of what all this means
but you still sit puttering
quiet
contemplating

and this is so confusing
for someone who would preach
that my silence is fatal
so why you do you want to meet?

‘Cause there’s gotta be more
than small talk about the weather

oh yes Missy Anne
I forgot you too clever!

you often like to hear my thoughts
to undercut and shame
when you need someone there

to place the blame
and target for your inadequacy
you remember my words and thrash brutally

well to tell you my thoughts
no I will not
and perhaps that’s why you’re sitting
eyes shifty
body distraught

and yes I’m fine, to your surprise
and yes of course,
supremacy knows no boundaries
quite similar to yourself if you know what I mean
so yes life at times ain’t so peachy keen

and I’ve given all I will to this conversation
any more time and I’ll ask for due compensation
so if it’s your shame
your guilt
your sorrow
you need to heal
well let me just keep it real
i’ve suffered enough fools
and you know the deal
I ain’t magical
don’t carry cure all elixirs
uppers
downers
quicker fixers
to aid you in your quest for your own liberation
Missy Anne I declare you just head on back to that good ole plantation!!!!!